


A Woman's Work (Is Never Done)

by lady_ragnell



Category: Galavant (TV)
Genre: Evil, Gen, Misses Clause Challenge, Sexism, Yuletide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 16:25:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12987897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_ragnell/pseuds/lady_ragnell
Summary: Madalena finds herself less than satisfied with the DEL's plans for her future.





	A Woman's Work (Is Never Done)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eisoj5](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eisoj5/gifts).



> **Eisoj5** , I hope you enjoy the fic, because I had a scream writing it! I wanted so badly to write a song to go with this (and it's titled based off the likely title), but it wasn't to be! If it ever works out I'll post it as another chapter in this fic so you'll get to see it.
> 
> Happy Yuletide!

Madalena had assumed that the Dark, Dark, Evil Way would include a lot more dark and evil. It wasn't like it was the Sunshine and Puppies Society, or even the Grand Order Of Women Who Wear Chainmail That Covers More Than Just Their Breasts, which was at least neutral on the good and evil scale.

(Evil queens and heroines alike can agree that the armor armorers always try to sell them first is unacceptable, and any young adventurer worth her salt knows to look for a blacksmith with a GOOWWWCTCMTJTB badge in his window. At least they're easy to spot from a distance, the badges are by necessity very large.)

And the DEL did teach her some great magic at first. City-destroying magic, which is by far Madalena's favorite kind of magic.

Now, though … “Madalena, darling, the basics are of course necessary for everyone, but now that it's time to specialize, wouldn't you like to go into poisons?” the DEL is saying. “Poisons are a classic for any evil queen, and can be administered so creatively.”

Madalena grits her teeth. “If my ex gets a dragon, I am going to _turn into_ a dragon, see if I don't. Or at the very least make a lot of fire like one. Not all queens are interested in poisons.”

“But it's been so long since we had a poison specialist.”

That's the other thing. The DES, the Dark Evil Society, is very much a boys' club. They meet at the DEL's house for tea every week and dared assume that _she_ would be their secretary. An evil _apothecary_ , not even titled, just an apothecary who's evil as a _hobby_ but makes sure his potions aren't going to hurt his customers, dared to call her “Sweetie” and asked her to refill his tankard of mead. She did her best to set them all straight with a fireball to the middle of the table, but even now she's not sure her message made it across.

Especially given her current conversation over the breakfast table. “Why don't you ask Benny to be your poison specialist?”

The DEL looks aghast, which he does far too often for any proper villain. “Benny does hideous transformations.”

“Why? He's an apothecary! He's naturally good at poisons!”

“Evil Queens are naturally good at poisons, Madalena. It's really what you do. Part of the job, if you will.” He coughs. “Women's work.”

She misses Gareth. He, at least, found it delightful when they did torture sessions as bonding and she took equal part. Considering both Galavant and Richard were inclined to treat her like a delicate flower, she very much appreciates that. “I'm not a woman, I'm a queen.”

“Ah, being a woman is part of the job description of being a queen, I'd think.” He looks a little dejected, and then brightens. “You could adopt a beautiful maiden and grow jealous of her and make her life difficult. And then poison her. Perhaps only a little?”

Madalena wrinkles her nose. The other wonderful thing about Gareth is that he never talked about having children. And even if she were to adopt, she would raise her to be evil, not shun her just for the sake of tradition. Her inevitable empire is going to need someone to rule it when she dies after a long period of near-immortality, after all. She has plans. “Not interested, thanks. It's setting things on fire and blowing them up for me. I'm the modern kind of evil queen. I'm going to leave a _legacy_.”

“We'll have to talk about it some more,” he says, sounding dubious.

Madalena puts down her breakfast, preparing to storm out, and then reconsiders and picks it up again, because she really is hungry. “The only talking we'll be doing is all of you welcoming me to my true place as one of you, or I'm going to split off and make an even darker, even eviler way. There will be ...” She strikes out wildly. “Necromancy! And whatever the opposite of necromancy is, where I make alive people dead instead!”

“We generally just call that murder, we can never think of anything punchy enough to justify replacing that—”

“And I'll get my own followers, and no one will ever do DDEW again!” That's a good storm-out line. If the DEL has taught her anything (aside from the explosions and how to make things _go_ instead of match), it's dramatic timing. She clutches her breakfast in her hands and stalks out with all the dignity and glory of a queen who certainly wouldn't stoop to poison when she could deep-fry.

In her quarters (lush and beautifully decorated—those, at least, she doesn't object to), Madalena fumes and paces in front of her writing desk in between bites of breakfast. She wants to write to Gareth to complain, but he's on some kind of mission to make her work less, says she's a workaholic and the level of torture and evil they were engaging in before was plenty. Sid has been a sad influence on him, and Richard went soft long ago, so he's no help either now that they're braiding each other's hair again (well, Richard is getting his hair braided while Gareth sits there and looks pained, but it's the same thing in her book). It's not that she wants to break up, but their goals are so incompatible lately.

No, Madalena needs a more unexpected ally. A faithful, dues-paying member of GOOWWWCTCMTJTB who might be willing to help her sponsor a magical branch and who cares more about the advancement of women in adventuring than about silly things like good and evil.

Having a nemesis, she must admit, has sounded like fun ever since she discovered how delicious power is. But most evil queens either take on young girls who they should be able to squash flat in a matter of seconds or they fight their exes, and Madalena has no interest in gearing any of her attention toward Richard or Galavant, even if they are respectively very respectable sorts of heroes to fight, being the One True King and his strong right hand, much to her annoyance. Gareth is no nemesis either, since she expects to win him over to her side soon, and taking Sid seriously enough to declare him her nemesis doesn't bear thinking of.

But if she's going to leave a legacy, she should be fighting a woman who's her equal. Isabella had to spend a plotline fighting a _wedding planner_ and her eleven-year-old cousin, for God's sake. She should be a pretty easy sell, and it will serve them both nicely if they become the greatest rivalry known to history.

Madalena will win in the end, of course, but it should be a great deal of fun for them both.

As she sits down at her desk to write, Madalena hears the music swell around her and smiles.

She knows she's on the right track now. It's been weeks since she had a good musical number.


End file.
